Coffee & The Shit... And The Kidnap!

Due to some unexpected incidents, I ended up having a round of bowling, lunch, and movie at 1-U on Deepavali day with some friends instead of going back to hometown on the night before. Basically, different people (including some new faces) turned up at different session. It didn't really matter and I had a great time.

After the movie, off I went, heading for the North-South Highway for my way home. There was supposedly another round of yum cha awaiting me in Ipoh when I reached there. Who knew, Ms. Aeroplane called to pospone it to Friday night. Well, I headed home straight away to enjoy some left over homecook food for a late dinner.

It's been a common event recently to meet up with Ms. Aeroplane(a pretty and mighty dragon which resides in Ipoh), whenever YY & I happen to go back to Ipoh together. Our meet up station has always been Old Town Cafe at Greentown. Literally, Ms. Aeroplane got this name from me as she's good at FFK, and has FFK for numerous times over the years. Well, surprizingly, she's shown great initiative and her turn up rate at meet up and yum cha is superb recently.

This time around, we decided to go to Cheong Kong (长江) Kopitiam at Jalan Pasir Putih for some nice Coffee. I was waiting at YY's place for Ms. Aeroplane to pick us up. While waiting, I called up Mr. Pig Head who happened to be in Ipoh with Mrs Pig Head, if he wanted to join us to 'blow blow water'. Mr. Pig Head was fine to join us but he told me that he wanted to shit first before going. He was telling YY the same thing before meeting up with her to yum cha the night before. What a shitty pig ass!

The Aeroplane and the Pig Head had never met each other before. Due to all these shitty excuses, the Pig Head had got a shitty new name from the Aeroplane, SHIT KING! Ahahaha... :D

When we were at Cheong Kong, we couldn't find parking. We detoured to our old place, the Old Town Cafe in Greentown. Called the Pig Head a few times to inform him about the change of plan. Who knew the newly crowned SHIT KING didn't pick up the many CALLS that I attempted. I was puzzling if the SHIT KING was really shitting that long. Finally he called back, after his shitty business, I supposed.

Ms. Aeroplane, YY & I were nicely enjoying our drinks and chatting at Old Town Cafe. Mr. & Mrs. Pig Head turned up almost an hour later.

(All conversations were in Cantonese)

Me: Eh, finished shitting already ah?
Mr. Pig Head: No lah, didn't shit wor. I used that as an excuse to come late only mah. Hehehe...

What a shitty pig ass!

With their arrival, we ordered a few variety of toast. We were bullshitting after whacking all the toast. 4 young long-hair nerds (长毛怪，named by Ms. Aeroplane, haha) walked in and sat at a table near us. Suddenly, Ms. Aeroplane asked if anyone had smelt any strange smell. I spontaneously answered no. Moments later, one by one, we smelled a nauseating shitty smell except Mrs. Pig Head who was lucky enough to have a blocked nose at that moment. The smell spread at light speed and contaminated the whole surrounding. People around started to cover their nose and were talking about the shitty smell.

To break the silence of the shitty atmosphere:

Me towards Mr. Pig Head: You didn't clean your ass after shitting ah? So smelly one!
Mr. Pig Head: I didn't shit lah!

Having sharp observation, Ms. Aeroplane confirmed (instead of suspected) that the shitty smell was from the table of the 4 long-hair nerds. 1 of the nerds stood up and walked to the toilet. He was being suspected as the culprit who stepped on and brought the shit in. The remaining 3 were being observed, I guessed not only by us. The guy came back to his seat moments later. Noticing that people were talking about the smell and staring at them, feeling embarrased, they left before even making any order.

Story didn't just end there. Ms. Aeroplane and Mr. Pig Head who were sitting at a better angle to 'examine' the stools, had spotted one with shit stain and concluded unanimously who the real culprit was! It was a guy sitting next to the one who went to the toilet. They even pointed out the color of the shit! Yuck!

YY: It seems that the shit is quite fresh.
Mr. Pig Head (towards Ms. Aeroplane): Wah, you smell shit better than anyone else!

After the 4 guys left, problem wasn't resolved yet, the smell still remained. Ms. Aeroplane (who is a regular at the Cafe) waved at a waiter to come over.

Ms. Aeroplane (smiling): You must have smelt something very smelly leh? Do you wish to know why?

The waiter didn't know what to react on her sudden question and just nodded with a smile. Ms. Aeroplane pointed at that chair with shit stain and told the waiter it's the source of the smell. The waiter smiled and immediately took away the chair for washing. Anohter waiter came to mop the floor. Finally the smell was gone! Fortunately the shitty smell stroke after we had finishsed our food, or else you can imagine how nauseating it was!

After a while, we decided to go to Cheong Kong for some bean sprouts.

Mr. Pig Head (with his cheeky expression): Bean sprouts chicken? Oh, ordering chicken (叫鸡 in Cantonese) is very nice. Ahahahaha...
Me: Come, we'll bring you to order chicken, and we'll order the bean sprouts. Not ordering also take a look, not taking a look must also touch...

Mrs. Pig head's hand was already pulling Mr' Pig Head's ear! Ahahaha...

Mr. Pig Head: Wah, you ah, really pig dog friend(猪朋狗友)。 Bachelor night, I must include you.

FYI, Mr & Mrs Pig Head are going for ROM very soon.

Conversation (all in Cantonese) started to run wild from shit to chicken. Ahahaha...

Finally, we moved our butts and headed for Cheong Kong. We ordered some bean sprouts without chicken and I ordered another cup of Ipoh white coffee after a cup in Old Town Cafe prior to this. Just love it! Leisurely, we enjoyed the short, fat and juicy Ipoh bean sprouts as well as our coffee and some newspaper as if we were having dim sum and enjoying the tea in the morning.

The Cheong Kong's owner's daughter, who is also a friend of Ms. Aeroplane's, joined us for some crazy chat.

We left only when the shop was about to close.

Really enjoyed the coffee and the night. I drove my way home and hit the sack.

Yiiii..., how come that woman who bowled alone next to our lane at 1-U suddenly appeared??? She was driving a brown color Proton Saga. What was she trying to do? Oh no, she was kidnapping Ms. Aeroplane! She drove her car into the room that I was sleeping in. What the heck were all these riduculous things? Ms. Aeroplane disappeared! Confused and terrified, I screamed the loudest I could, "Ahhhhhh....!!!Where is ah Ho?!..." Ah Ho is how we usually call Ms. Aeroplane.

My mum shouted my name loudly to find out what happened and tried to pacify me.

Shit! I was dreaming and screaming! I woke everyone in the house up by my horrifying scream! I got up to go to the toilet. Cast my 1/2 closed eyes over the antique clock on the wall. It was 4am in the morning...

I seriously hate dreaming, especailly bad dream! I was terrified, tired and a bit reluctant to get back to sleep. I laid on the bed, praying hard that I wouldn't get another bad dream when I continued sleeping.

What a way to conclude my day. How could that woman at the bowling alley come into my dream to kidnap Ms. Aeroplane? I have really no idea...