How Come?!

Flying
It was a strange encounter. Time had brought me back to the food stalls at my hometown, before the place was renovated to a more organized hawker centre, I guess more than 15 years ago. It was at a stall near the drainage, where an uncle used to (he is still selling but now at the renovated hawker centre) sell my favourite fried wantan mee, I saw some familiar faces. I definitely know them but just couldn't recall their names. What were they up to, gathering there? I didn't know why I was there. I was just standing there observing these people.

OMG! They were putting up flying machine, which has a pair of wings (like an angel's) attached to each machine individually. One by one, off they flew up the sky, to start their journeys of adventure to somewhere. I noticed one of them wasn't maneuvering the flying machine well, flying a bit clumsily. I shouted, 'Hey, spread your wings, flip them! Fly like a bird!'

I was standing there, like an idiot, seeing one after another of them flying like a bird in the sky. Some thoughts suddenly stroke me. What the hell was going on? Were they imitating the Wright brothers? I believe I can fly? Don't we have aeroplane? Why were they flying? How come I wasn't flying with them? How come? How come?

Off I went. I didn't know how did I get to walk pass a corner near the staircase of an old shop house. KM and a friend were sitting there at a round table, having some books with them. 'Yii...? How come you guys are not flying with them?', I asked. 'We are not so much into the sky, more keen on the sea. We are planning to get open water certification to get our diving license.', replied KM's friend.

I was very confused with my encouter, with different people from different time put together for all these strange things that I had witnessed.

The Happening Gathering And The Black Guy
Within a flash of time, I was already at KY's place. AJ, JK, Gas Stove, KS (KY's sister), KY, and I were watching TV, munching junk food, bullshiting, and laughing loudly and happily in the living room. KY's mum, Sasha, Lok Lok and some of KY's other family members were also there, having a good time at the mini party. It was so damn happening and the atmosphere was filled with happiness and PEACE. Yes, it was peaceful, no blood shed, no war, no fighting between Gas Stove and JK. Both of them didn't stab at each other AT ALL! Hahaha... :D

I was sitting with my back facing the staircase. Sensing someone walking in, I spontaneously turned my head to check it out. I saw a black guy, dressed in a Taliban way, with his face covered with a piece of cloth, only leaving his eyes to be seen. I basically couldn't differentiate whether he was an Indian or a Negro as his skin complexion was so dark and he was nicely wrapped from face to toes. I stared right into his eyes and just felt uncomfortable with him. He was going upstairs without even saying a single word to anybody in the living room, treating everyone as transparent. I immediately asked KY, 'Eh, you know him ah?' KY replied that he's her uncle. Since when KY has a strange black guy as uncle? I was confused. How come? How come?

Back To The School
The noisy us, comprising JK, AJ, Gas Stove, KS, KY & I went to school together. Huh? Back to the school? I thought I have graduated from university and have been working for few years already? Since when I attended the same school with this combination of people? Anyway, JK, being the tallest and biggest in size and almost the eldest in age, acted as the gang leader (大鬼头). We were like a gang of mischievous students but far from gangsters, ok. Hahaha... We were late for classes, making a lot of noise during classes, and having fun in school. Was that real or just an illusion? I don't recall such memory in my life. Had I travelled to another continuum of time via the time machine? How come? How come?

The Kuih Sellers and The Exam
On a beautiful morning, KY was driving me to school to attend an exam. While walking to collect her car, I saw Gas Stove and KS, selling 'chai kuih' (flour skin stuffed with sengkuang slice [沙葛], kuchai [韭菜], and dried shrimp) at a stall at the road side. The 'chai kuih' were made by KY's mum. They were sitting there leisurely, chit-chatting while waiting for customers. Didn't they have to go to school? How come? How come?

KY drove me to the school with her Kenari. We headed to the exam hall and got sitted. Wah, happening wor! YY was also there. I was sitting behind YY and KY was sitting at my back. Ahahaha...The noisy trio in the same column! We were sitting in the center of the exam hall while the boys were sitting quite far away from us, at the right side.

The examiners started to distribute the exam papers. When I got my copy, I was so surprized to find that the exam papers were being recycled from the earlier exam session. There were some scribble and answer marks on my copy. The questions were in objective and there were 100 of them. It's been ages since I last took any exam. My mind suddenly turned blunt. I was scratching my head and find it a bit difficult to get the correct answer in a speedy manner, like in my heyday.

After answering a few questions, I spotted something wrong. How come my set of exam questions had suddenly increased to 200? How come another 100 questions had suddenly and magically been added on top of the original set of questions? Shit! Was I shading the correct answers on the right answer sheet?

KY whispered to me.
KY: Eh, put your answer sheet sideway a bit ya. We all share share the answers.
Me: Ok ok, no problem!

I continued scratching my head with the objective questions.

Moments later, KY whispered to me again, like Columbus had discovered new found land.

KY: Fuyoh! My paper was used by a very smart student earlier on. I know him. He is very smart one! I've got answers for all the questions. There are answer marks left by him on the exam question paper. His answers are sure correct one!
Me: Wah! Then we don't need to scratch our heads liao!

Gosh! We were cheating!!! How come? How come?

'Dwi dwit dwi dwit dwi dwit...' My alarm clock rang. I woke up, laughing, and all my 'how comes' had been automatically answered. It was merely a series of strange and funny dreams. Ahahahaha... :D

20 Cents of Mercy

It's Monday night. As usual, I went to the pasar malam at SS2 (within walking distance from my office) to do my marketing for some fresh vegetable, fish and some cooking ingredients.

It's normally getting more and more crowded as the night gets later, and the human traffic flow would be super slow, which is something that I am quite impatient with. I would normally go early, sometimes as early as around 5pm, dash to certain stalls to do my purchase and dash my way out before it's too crowded.

I was a bit late today as I had some work to complete in the office. Walked there around 7pm. I Sped to certain stalls to grab some fresh vege, fish, some shallots, my favorite chicken wing (almost a weekly affair, haha), and fried loh bak ko for dinner.

Bought a piece of kurau fish from a lady fishmonger, who is nice enough to sell me 1 piece (yes 1 piece) of the fish out of a plate of 4 pieces that are normally grouped together for selling as an UNIT. I overpaid the lady fishmonger by 20 cents and she returned the money to me. With the 20 cent coin in my left hand, in terms of movement, I was having a little bit of difficulty to put it back to my purse which was in my handbag as my right hand's fingers were fully loaded with bags containing choy sum, lady's fingers, tomato, fried lo bak ko, and chicken wing respectively.

When I was attempting to unzip my handbag, all of a sudden, a tupperware-like plastic container conveniently appeared right in front of me, in the perfect position to 'fetch' my 20 cents coin. It happened so suddenly that it took me a few seconds to figure out what was happening. The plastic container was handed by an old lady who was begging for money. From the physical appearance, the old lady begger is in her 60-70s, probably. She is just a normal old lady in 1 fine piece, without any physical disablement. Out of convenince plus some mercy, I gave the 20 cents coin to her without much thought to save me the trouble of putting it back into my purse. After getting the money, off she went and I continued my way.

Yes, I do give money to beggers sometimes, but only selectively and to those who deserve my sympathy. There are too many of beggers out there. How much can you give? How are you going to differenciate which are the 'real' ones and which are from syndicates?

After a while, I bumped into her again after 1-2 minutes and guess what? She handed the container right in front of me AGAIN, 'asking' for money. I was a little bit annoyed and I told her, 'Ah poh, I had just given you money a while ago!' and I walked off with a mixed feeling.

Was that greed? Did she seriously not remember that I had given her money a moment ago or was she too old to remember the too many faces that she had begged money from at the pasar malam? I didn't want to furhter ask myself too many questions on her or guess there might be saddening reasaons behind her begging, as I don't have the actual answers. After all, she's old already and I wasn't really that angry with her.

While driving my way back, I gazed at the sky while waiting for traffic to move. The sky linked my thought to the GREAT act of our dearest country of wasting millions of RM of the tax payers' money to send a so-called 'astronaut' (some called it space flight participant) to the space with the second 'astronaut' on the way soon. It really really pissed me off! There are so many social problems out there not taken care off and millions of money is being thrown into the space! Kanasai! Ok, let's not talk about this sickening topic. Really 'HORSE HEAD PIG BRAIN'!

Coffee & The Shit... And The Kidnap!

Due to some unexpected incidents, I ended up having a round of bowling, lunch, and movie at 1-U on Deepavali day with some friends instead of going back to hometown on the night before. Basically, different people (including some new faces) turned up at different session. It didn't really matter and I had a great time.

After the movie, off I went, heading for the North-South Highway for my way home. There was supposedly another round of yum cha awaiting me in Ipoh when I reached there. Who knew, Ms. Aeroplane called to pospone it to Friday night. Well, I headed home straight away to enjoy some left over homecook food for a late dinner.

It's been a common event recently to meet up with Ms. Aeroplane(a pretty and mighty dragon which resides in Ipoh), whenever YY & I happen to go back to Ipoh together. Our meet up station has always been Old Town Cafe at Greentown. Literally, Ms. Aeroplane got this name from me as she's good at FFK, and has FFK for numerous times over the years. Well, surprizingly, she's shown great initiative and her turn up rate at meet up and yum cha is superb recently.

This time around, we decided to go to Cheong Kong (长江) Kopitiam at Jalan Pasir Putih for some nice Coffee. I was waiting at YY's place for Ms. Aeroplane to pick us up. While waiting, I called up Mr. Pig Head who happened to be in Ipoh with Mrs Pig Head, if he wanted to join us to 'blow blow water'. Mr. Pig Head was fine to join us but he told me that he wanted to shit first before going. He was telling YY the same thing before meeting up with her to yum cha the night before. What a shitty pig ass!

The Aeroplane and the Pig Head had never met each other before. Due to all these shitty excuses, the Pig Head had got a shitty new name from the Aeroplane, SHIT KING! Ahahaha... :D

When we were at Cheong Kong, we couldn't find parking. We detoured to our old place, the Old Town Cafe in Greentown. Called the Pig Head a few times to inform him about the change of plan. Who knew the newly crowned SHIT KING didn't pick up the many CALLS that I attempted. I was puzzling if the SHIT KING was really shitting that long. Finally he called back, after his shitty business, I supposed.

Ms. Aeroplane, YY & I were nicely enjoying our drinks and chatting at Old Town Cafe. Mr. & Mrs. Pig Head turned up almost an hour later.

(All conversations were in Cantonese)

Me: Eh, finished shitting already ah?
Mr. Pig Head: No lah, didn't shit wor. I used that as an excuse to come late only mah. Hehehe...

What a shitty pig ass!

With their arrival, we ordered a few variety of toast. We were bullshitting after whacking all the toast. 4 young long-hair nerds (长毛怪，named by Ms. Aeroplane, haha) walked in and sat at a table near us. Suddenly, Ms. Aeroplane asked if anyone had smelt any strange smell. I spontaneously answered no. Moments later, one by one, we smelled a nauseating shitty smell except Mrs. Pig Head who was lucky enough to have a blocked nose at that moment. The smell spread at light speed and contaminated the whole surrounding. People around started to cover their nose and were talking about the shitty smell.

To break the silence of the shitty atmosphere:

Me towards Mr. Pig Head: You didn't clean your ass after shitting ah? So smelly one!
Mr. Pig Head: I didn't shit lah!

Having sharp observation, Ms. Aeroplane confirmed (instead of suspected) that the shitty smell was from the table of the 4 long-hair nerds. 1 of the nerds stood up and walked to the toilet. He was being suspected as the culprit who stepped on and brought the shit in. The remaining 3 were being observed, I guessed not only by us. The guy came back to his seat moments later. Noticing that people were talking about the smell and staring at them, feeling embarrased, they left before even making any order.

Story didn't just end there. Ms. Aeroplane and Mr. Pig Head who were sitting at a better angle to 'examine' the stools, had spotted one with shit stain and concluded unanimously who the real culprit was! It was a guy sitting next to the one who went to the toilet. They even pointed out the color of the shit! Yuck!

YY: It seems that the shit is quite fresh.
Mr. Pig Head (towards Ms. Aeroplane): Wah, you smell shit better than anyone else!

After the 4 guys left, problem wasn't resolved yet, the smell still remained. Ms. Aeroplane (who is a regular at the Cafe) waved at a waiter to come over.

Ms. Aeroplane (smiling): You must have smelt something very smelly leh? Do you wish to know why?

The waiter didn't know what to react on her sudden question and just nodded with a smile. Ms. Aeroplane pointed at that chair with shit stain and told the waiter it's the source of the smell. The waiter smiled and immediately took away the chair for washing. Anohter waiter came to mop the floor. Finally the smell was gone! Fortunately the shitty smell stroke after we had finishsed our food, or else you can imagine how nauseating it was!

After a while, we decided to go to Cheong Kong for some bean sprouts.

Mr. Pig Head (with his cheeky expression): Bean sprouts chicken? Oh, ordering chicken (叫鸡 in Cantonese) is very nice. Ahahahaha...
Me: Come, we'll bring you to order chicken, and we'll order the bean sprouts. Not ordering also take a look, not taking a look must also touch...

Mrs. Pig head's hand was already pulling Mr' Pig Head's ear! Ahahaha...

Mr. Pig Head: Wah, you ah, really pig dog friend(猪朋狗友)。 Bachelor night, I must include you.

FYI, Mr & Mrs Pig Head are going for ROM very soon.

Conversation (all in Cantonese) started to run wild from shit to chicken. Ahahaha...

Finally, we moved our butts and headed for Cheong Kong. We ordered some bean sprouts without chicken and I ordered another cup of Ipoh white coffee after a cup in Old Town Cafe prior to this. Just love it! Leisurely, we enjoyed the short, fat and juicy Ipoh bean sprouts as well as our coffee and some newspaper as if we were having dim sum and enjoying the tea in the morning.

The Cheong Kong's owner's daughter, who is also a friend of Ms. Aeroplane's, joined us for some crazy chat.

We left only when the shop was about to close.

Really enjoyed the coffee and the night. I drove my way home and hit the sack.

Yiiii..., how come that woman who bowled alone next to our lane at 1-U suddenly appeared??? She was driving a brown color Proton Saga. What was she trying to do? Oh no, she was kidnapping Ms. Aeroplane! She drove her car into the room that I was sleeping in. What the heck were all these riduculous things? Ms. Aeroplane disappeared! Confused and terrified, I screamed the loudest I could, "Ahhhhhh....!!!Where is ah Ho?!..." Ah Ho is how we usually call Ms. Aeroplane.

My mum shouted my name loudly to find out what happened and tried to pacify me.

Shit! I was dreaming and screaming! I woke everyone in the house up by my horrifying scream! I got up to go to the toilet. Cast my 1/2 closed eyes over the antique clock on the wall. It was 4am in the morning...

I seriously hate dreaming, especailly bad dream! I was terrified, tired and a bit reluctant to get back to sleep. I laid on the bed, praying hard that I wouldn't get another bad dream when I continued sleeping.

What a way to conclude my day. How could that woman at the bowling alley come into my dream to kidnap Ms. Aeroplane? I have really no idea...